Dis/located Identities: Swinging and Contemporary Sexual Space :: Free Essays Online

Dis/located Identities: Swinging and Contemporary Sexual Space A committed relationship without monogamy sounds like a contradiction in terms to those raised in America, or most any country at this point in history. The nature of commitment suggests that it requires a single partner and the promise to remain faithful to that person. Swingers choose a slightly different route and yet it is one that can involve more trust and openness than monogamous relationships offer. Swingers [1] are couples who choose to have not only a committed relationship but to also explore, as couple, recreational sex with other individuals and couples. At the heart of a strong swinging relationship is not sex at all; rather, there is the openness, trust, and communication necessary to both talk openly about desires and fantasies and to act on them within the bounds of commitment. â€Å"To swingers, physical acts of sexual pleasure with someone you respect, just for pleasure, and making love to one’s lifetime partner are two distinctly different things† (Thomas 20). This form of sexuality is clearly outside the norm of heterosexual behavior, especially that of married or committed adults. But is it a legitimate sexual identity? Does the swinging community deserve recognition in the same terms as other minority sexual identities? Like any other form of sexual expression, swinging takes on a handful of common variants. Soft swinging is a newer form and refers â€Å"a desire for sexual activities such as watching, being watched, mutual masturbation, and possibly oral sex but without changing partners for full sexual intercourse† (Thomas 20). Closed swinging is a more commonly recognized form of swinging where couples swing in different rooms – this is where the slightly derogatory term ‘wife swapping’ probably originated. Open swinging is where two couples will swing in the same room. Couples who prefer open swinging tend to enjoy watching their partner with another person, participating somehow while their partner is having sex with another person, or the women are bisexual and wish to enjoy each other while the men watch. Group swinging is basically equivalent to an orgy, although group swinging as a term is preferred. â€Å"A lot of swingers who enjoy this type of swinging f ind that it satisfies their tastes for exhibitionism and voyeurism at the same time. Some people have fantasies of finding out how many lovers they can satisfy in one evening†¦Ã¢â‚¬  (Thomas 20).